The joy of children

This is why I love children ....

Yes, I am organized. Yes, I have labeled bins for almost anything.

Yes, I hate clutter and stacks. Yes, I am a clean freak. But this is heaven to me. I love this type of mess.

At least one of us was having fun....

Never go to Disneyland on a Friday! Here are the reasons why:

• 75 minute wait to get on a ride - I don't think so. I don't think the creators of the happiest place on earth have ever stood in a long line (for 75 minutes) with little children.
• You make 17 turns while in line for it's a small world.
• It takes 1 hour standing in line to see Santa and Mrs. Claus. After the hour, you get about 5 minutes with them before you are ushered off.
• The park closes off half of the walk ways 3 times throughout the day to prepare for the parade and fireworks. Prepare to walk miles in detours.
• It is awesome to get a fast pass and it tells you to come back in 6 hours. What's the point to the fast pass? That line is just as long as the regular line.
• Even if I have stood in long lines all day, I am still not going to pay $5 for a soda.
• There are so many people there you cannot move.

At least this little guy had fun. He is the best trooper of all.

Oh no you didn't

In life we all have tragic events that last forever. In some way, these events impact us for the remainder of our life. Let me tell you about one of mine....


Picture this - As a baby I was a thumb sucker. Yep, I loved my thumb and sucked it all the time. No big deal some of you may think, but in my family it was a big deal.


I remember the day the thumb went away. I was small (no older than 2) and I got called by my mom to come into the study room. When I got into the room, there was my mom, dad, and one of my brothers.


My mom sat me down on her sewing machine and asked to see my thumbs. She then pulled out this horrible white material. The next thing I knew this material was placed on my thumbs and then tied around my hands so I could not get it off.


In went my thumb and out came a scream. It was horrible. The material tasted bad and I could not get it off of my thumb. I remember crying. I don't remember how long they were on my thumbs but it did cure me from sucking my thumb.


Now fast forward to today. Look at what I caught on camera....



Yep - Porter was going to town on his thumb. All I could think of was - Oh no you didn't put that in your mouth. I immediately removed his thumb.



Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, many of you think sucking a thumb is a good thing. Believe me I have heard it all.

However, deep down I know that in the long run, not sucking his thumb will be good for him and for the development of his mouth and teeth. Plus, I don't want to scar his life when we have to make him stop sucking his thumb.


I would rather he take a Binky and spare him the pain of losing the thumb. Trust me, it is a traumatic experience and the pain will last a life time.



Don't worry, he is not suffering. He is spoiled and pretty much gets anything he wants except the thumb.

6 Feet in 3 minutes

My girls (spouse included) love to go shopping with me. They know that if they go with me they will always come home with a treat. Yes, they are very spoiled but who cares? They deserve it!


9 out of 10 times they will pick a piece of candy or gum for their treat. This is odd to me because I don't eat too many sweet things but whatever. They got this gene from my wife :)


Anyway, we are very familiar with every treat aisle in every store that we shop at. That aisle has become our home away from home.

The rule is - they have to be good while shopping or they do not get a treat. At least, I think that is the rule. It is always an experience to keep them entertained while shopping because they automatically want to go to the treat aisle first.


When I go shopping, I try to take my girls individually to spend time with them alone. The other day, Bella decided to go with me. We were just going to go to a store that is basically a mile from our home.

Of course the minute we walked into the store she wanted her treat. I had to convince her to be good so she could get a treat.


Finally, the time came to get the treat. It always amazes me how their attitudes change the minute we walk down this aisle. They have rarely shown personalities and attitudes when they get to this aisle. Hmmmm - maybe I should build a treat room in our house!!

As we strolled down the treat aisle, Bella picked many treats and started to throw them in the basket. I explained to her that she could only have one treat as I put everything back on the shelf. All of a sudden, her eyes caught the ultimate treat - bubble gum. My girls (Jenni included) love bubble gum. Does not matter the brand or flavor - they L O V E I T!


It is interesting to watch them chew bubble gum. They will chew a piece until the sugar is gone then spit it out (well at least Jenni spits hers out, the girls swallow their gum - and by the way, it does not take seven years to come back out - I know way TMI {Too Much Information}. I would like to find my first grade teacher and correct her on this point) and go for the next piece. They can down a bag of bubble gum in minutes. It is amazing.




So, here is what Bella picked - Yep 6 feet of bubble gum.

The store we were at was literally 3 minutes from our home. NO more than 1 mile. I put Bella in the car, buckled her into her car seat, got into the car and buckled up. I then opened her gum and gave it to her. I figured she would just eat 1 small piece and we would be good to go.


As I pulled into the drive way I heard - "Here, Daddy." I reached my hand back and she handed me the empty bubble gum case. I was shocked. I said, "Where is your bubble gum?" She said - "All gone."


Yep, she at the 6 feet of bubble gum in less than 3 minutes. Ugh!!!!!


All I can say is - hello dentist bill.

That's my girl..

Last night we were doing some fall cleaning in our basement storage room and came across our old gumball machine. Of course the girls eyes lit up as soon as they saw it and they wanted a piece of gum.

Well, the gum has been in there for at least 10 years so I am pretty sure it was rock hard and had no taste. Do you think they believed me? Absolutely not. All I could do was tell them to trust me.

They were not happy about not getting a piece of gum so I told them they could have a piece with the understanding that they would most likely end up at the dentist because the gum would break their teeth. They hate the dentist so they backed up. (BTW - Jenni and I have both spent so much time at the dentist I don't know why my girls hate the dentist. We are both so picky with our teeth yet end up at the dentist a lot. I really do not think dentists are that bad).

Anyway, Jenni and I told them that we would get some new bubble gum to fill up the machine. Once it was filled they could have all of the money from the machine. Of course they were delighted.

I went and purchased some bubble gum. I purposely hid it until they went to bed. I then filled up the machine and set it out. I did this at night so they could not see how to open the machine.

The first thing they saw in the morning was the gum. They were ecstatic. We showed them how it worked and how you had to have money to get a gumball. We thought that was the end of it.

As the day wore on, Bella disappeared and she was really quiet. This is the first sign that something is about to happen.

As Jenni goes walking into the other room. This is what she finds:

Bella has found a stool and a plastic knife. She has crawled up to the machine and is trying to open it with a knife. She has figured out that if you take the top screw off, you can get the gum out.

How in the world did she figure that out??? The kid has brains and if she wants something she will figure out a way to get it. You gotta love it.

Porter Noyes

This will be a short note but Porter XXXXXX Noyes is here. He is finally here. I can't put his middle name on the blog because it is a surprise for someone. After he is blessed we can tell everyone or send us an email and we will tell you the middle name.

We are so glad to have him in our family. His lungs are not fully developed so he is still in the NICU department at the hospital. We are not sure how long he will be there.

Here are a couple of pictures of him.

And so it begins....

I am so lucky to have two beautiful daughters. I always thought I would not have to worry about boys liking them until they were somewhat older. However, the other day one of them came home with this:

Yes, his name is Hunter and he is six (6) and madly in love with my Molli. This is how it went down.

They were sitting at their table and Hunter was hiding something in his hand. He told Molli he was not going to tell her what it was. He then let Maddison sneak a peak and he wispered he was going to give it to Molli. Maddison promised she would not tell. Hunter then showed it to Bella who said she knew what it was. Then secretly on the play ground he gave it to Molli.

Molli was so embarrased that she hid it in her back pack until she got home. She was embarrased to tell mom but finally did. It was even worse telling dad (me) because I have always told her I will chase her boyfriends away.

Anyway, Molli wrote a note to Hunter and it went like this:

Hunter, thank you for the ring. Let's keep this between us because I will freak out if everyone knows.

Hunter was excited to get the note and he kept saying - thanks for the note Molli. Hi Molli, Bye Molli.

He has had a crush on her since kindergarten and I guess we will have to see where the romance goes. According to Molli, he is just a boy who is a friend to play with.

THATS MY GIRL!!!!!

Do My Eyes Look Puffy?

Today, my wife asked me - Do My Eyes Look Puffy?

S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y!!!!! Come on - how do I answer this question?

As men, we have learned there is no correct answer to a question like this. No matter how we respond it will be wrong. If we say yes, the tears will flow and if we say no, then it leads to other questions that we don't even want to consider answering.

When Jenni saw the fear in my eyes after she asked the question, she just smiled that wonderful smile that all women get. The one that says, yep, I have trapped you so be careful with your response.

I quickly responded - your eyes are beautiful and changed the subject. :)

Words to live by...

At the age of 8 I committed to live by these words. They instilled in me a desire to honor those values throughout my life. I memorized them at the age of 8 and have referred to them numerous times throughout my life. I can still repeat them with out hesitation.

Today, I had the opportunity to put on and participate in a Cub Scout camp for all of the cub scouts who live in our area. For those who know anything about where I live, this is a brave challenge to commit too because we have so many children in our neighborhood. We had over 200 boys in attendance. Just image what it is like to entertain 8, 9, 10, and 11 year old boys for 7 hours. :)

Normally, the boys in our area attend an official Cub Scout camp but we received special permission to put on this camp and act on behalf of the Boy Scouts of America.

I love cub scouts. These young boys are enthusiastic, energetic, and willing to do and learn anything. It always amazes me at how smart they are and how quickly they learn to read a compass, tie knots, fold a flag, build a fire and the list can go on. It is totally awesome to see how their eyes gleam when they accomplish something new. They have the biggest smiles on their faces and they deserve all of the praise that comes their way.

Parents would die if they knew the stories I heard about their families today. It makes me smile and happy to know that they love their families. It just drills home, how important the family unit is in the lives of young children.

I am forever grateful to Robert "Baden" Powell for starting the Boy Scout program. I don't think he realizes how many lives he has impacted and the values that he instilled in many boys, young men, men and women who participate in the program.

In our home, we frequently watch the movie "Follow Me Boy's." It is the story of Lem Siddons. He is a musician whose jazz band makes a stop in a small town. He decides to put down his roots in this town. He volunteers to become a scoutmaster. The movie takes you through his experience as he remains a scoutmaster through the remainder of his life. I encourage everyone to watch it.

I am grateful I got to be part of this event during the 100th Anniversary for scouting.

I have one piece of advice for anyone who gets involved with cub scouting - I have learned over the years that cub scouts are constantly moving and you have to stay one step ahead of them or you will be sorry.

Needless to say, I left the event tired but happy!!!

Tomatoes

I am sure you thought - what a dumb title for a blog entry but it did catch your attention. So just read on.

Over the past few years, I have developed a small problem with handling tomatoes.

It all started when my mother in law came to stay with us, so I must put the blame on her. :)

I think she cursed my perfect handling abilities because this has never happened to me before this day. The story goes - I was in the kitchen starting to make dinner for everyone. My mother in law came into the kitchen and started to hover over me. I am sure that I was perfectly pleasant about the many directions I was getting on how to prepare dinner.

Anyway, as I was preparing dinner I reached into the refrigerator to get some tomatoes and it happened.... I dropped them. Yep, they slipped completely out of my hand. The next thing I remember was hearing a crashing sound and then everything turned red. I mean everything. My clothes, the floor, the cupboards, the rug, the fridge everything. We are still finding stuff with tomatoe juice on them. Because my mother in law was close by, I blamed her and still do to this day.

Since the day of the tragedy this has been a repeated problem. At one point, I just started to laugh (well maybe a swear word here and there as well) but what else can I say.

In case you are ever in the mood to drop tomatoes, here are some interesting facts:

1. IF you drop a mason jar of tomatoes at the top of your stairs, it will bounce once before it breaks and explodes. It does turn your carpet a pretty color so if you need new carpet just drop tomatoes on it. You may be surprised at the new color.


2. NO tomatoes do not come out of white t-shirts. Believe me - my wife is a laundry fanatic and she cannot get them out.


3. IF you drop a jar of tomatoes on a hard wood floor, tomatoes can fly up to 10 feet high. Yes, ten feet!!!! If you ever look at the ceiling in my kitchen and notice a couple of red spots, well, now you know why.


4. YES tomatoes will stain quickly. I recommend you have paper towels and comet cleanser close by. You will need to act quickly.

Oops.....

Have you ever gone to have a hair cut and during the hair cut the stylist mumbles - Ooops??????

There is that sudden fear that comes over you. Trust me, I just found out!

Jenni has been cutting my hair off and on since we were married. She does as good a job as any stylist. However, the other day we decided to use a new trimmer like this one.

Yep, just after the first stroke I hear Ooops and then laughter. I look down on the floor and there sits all of my hair. I pick it up and it is not a normal small piece of hair. It is the entire thing. I was shaved clear to the head.

I was not amused and Jenni was laughing. Here were her words of sympathy:

• That spot looks like you had a medical treatment on your head


• On the bright side - you will only look ugly for a couple of weeks


• Just wear a ball cap

The kicker to the whole story is that she kept cutting my hair. She said she could just blend it in with the rest of the hair cut.

An hour later I was sitting in a professional chair having our Aunt fix the hair. I think she was trying to hold in her laugh as well.

So next time you hear, Ooops when getting a hair cut, I feel for you.

No it is not OCD

I am a pretty fussy person. I like things cleaned and organized. Yes, maybe I am a clean freak but you have no complaints on my side. No - I do not have OCD. I just have a gift for organizing and cleaning things. Yeah, I could see myself of the TV show House Hoarders or Clean House helping people get organized. It would totally rock (after the nausea of seeing how they live wears off).

My wife loves it when I get in a mood (or she says I get in a mood and I don't think I have mood swings) and start to clean or organize drawers, closets, cabinets etc.

One time, while Jenni was away in Washington visiting her family, I organized numerous drawers in the house. I put items in bins and labeled them. When she came home all she could do was laugh.


BTW - I highly recommend the P-touch Label maker machine. It totally rocks!!!! You can get it at Costco for a great deal. You can print labels in various colors and sizes. The best part is that the labels stick to anything. Even Bella when she decides to pull out all of the tape from the machine - hahaha.

I do think that the reason I am so obsessed with having to organize things and keep them clean is because I had to do it for my sisters growing up because they could never figure it out :). Just ask them what happened to all of their stuff.

So I have been told . . . .

How do you know when you have had a bad day or been ornery? It is easy in my house because my six year old will tell you. She loves to write and so I received the following note from her:

To Dad

Me and Bella are your children. You shouldn't just be nice to you (no). You should be nice to your family, your family members, you and Jesus. Think about what I wrote on the note and do it. Love Molli.

Wow! I bet all of you parents out there are jealous of my note. I know you are. Bet you wish you could get one. I promise you that a week later a note like this will be funny. Yes, it does make me laugh now after I did a full evaluation of my attitude. :)

If I can get my new scanner to work, I will scan in the note so you can see it.

The Best Dive Ever

Is this the BEST dive that anyone has ever witnessed? I am speechless!!! In fact this dive made me tear up.

Two months ago, Molli was afraid of the water. She would not even get into water with out holding on to someone.

Look at her now. She is diving and jumping into the water. She has even learned to swim, float, and have fun in a swimming pool. I am so stinking proud of her. She even swam in the deep end with out any help.


All of the long hours of sitting in the hot sun at the side of the pool has been worth it. Even the half hour drive (one way) to get to the pool paid off.

Oh - did I mention that I have an awesome farmer's tan this year. There are some benefits to being unemployed. Wait, did you just say you had a job lead for me? Call me. :)

You know you are old when . . . .

I knew I was getting old but I did not realize just how old.

Today, I had to call our bank to inquire about our account. In the process of getting a knowledgeable representative on the line, the bank had to ask their wonderful security questions to verify they were really talking to me.

As we went through the process, the representative said - "I see you have been with our bank since 19xx." I said yes. The representative then said - "Sir do you know that 19xx was the year I was born? You are old."

All I could do was laugh out loud.

Who says age is a big deal? I think it is a thing of the past (especially since I am now considered old). My doctor even told me I was now in the old category meaning I would soon need to start the tests that no one wants to talk about. :)

My Real Name Is Steven

Now that I have your attention, let me explain the purpose behind the title of my blog.

There is a popular phrase - When life throws you lemons, make lemonade. At the age of three (yes, I said three) I learned how to make lemonade. When I was born, my parents named me Steven Maurice Noyes. I hated the name of Steven (still do). More importantly, I hated how my older siblings taunted me and teased me by calling me Stevie or other mean nicknames. I know that they did this only because I am my parents' favorite child and they were just jealous!

Anyway, at the age of three, my parents finally agreed to have my name legally changed to Maurice Steven Noyes. Life has been a wonderful glass of lemonade since. I am sure they had it changed to stop the fighting amongst siblings but secretly everyone knows it is because the fav has a way of getting things :)

Much to the shock of my inlaws - I like the name Maurice way better than Steven.

Growing up, I never revealed my middle name to anyone. I always made up something when people asked what the S stood for. Now remember, not everything in life goes as planned.

Picture this - it is high school graduation. There are about 1,000 students graduating and one student walks across the stage. The announcer (who is reading off the names of all graduates) for the first and only time in the ceremony states someone's full name - yep he said Maurice Steven Noyes. There was a silent gasp amongst everyone in attendance. Murmurings started and you could hear everyone say - Steven, that is his middle name!

So when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

As you read my posts, I hope you can laugh along with me as I make lemonade out of things that occur in my life. I look forward to your comments.